So for a little drop of Awesome I made brownies today. Which I don't ever do really, I don't like to bake and I'm not a fan of sweets, but Codey and the kids love them. So I thought I would show a little love and make them a treat. I hope they taste good I bought a large container of cocoanut oil and have been trying to use it more so I used it instead do vegetable oil, so we will see how fast they are eaten. I'm sure they will be fine.
I have been thinking a lot lately about Codey and the kids and showing them a little more how much I love them, and I need to show them more by the things that I do for them.
I feel a little (well a lot) overwhelmed by all I am supposed to do everyday, and really it isn't all that much when you make a list or see it on paper. Get up, get the kids to school, come home do laundry, do the dishes, clean up, make the bed and the kids, clean a bathroom, change some sheets, sweep the floor, think of something for dinner, go get the kids from school, help with homework, make something for dinner, hope everyone will eat what I made for dinner, clean it all up, go to a primary meeting or scout meeting or RS meeting or Codey has scouts or a bank meeting or a union meeting, get kids in bed and then have a minute to sit down and check email or do nothing while sitting in front of the TV. And yet it seems as if I don't get anything done, and that my days all run together, and so what do I really do?
Sit and hold Cash, tell the boys for the bazzilyenth time to stop fighting, don't bounce the ball in the house, keep the toys in the toy room, stop yelling, please find something quiet to do while Cash sleeps, listen to me, and the list goes on and on. Why do I find time for all of that and not the things I should be doing. Get all the above done and still sit and read to the boys have dinner ready at 6 have it all cleaned up and sit and talk to the kids about there day, see what they want to do sometime.
It all makes me tired to think about. Why can't I pay someone to clean the house so I have time to do something with the kids, why do I agonize over dinner just for everyone to come and say ( I hate that ) can I have a cook too, so everyone can get what they want? Then can we all go away for the weekend so I don't have to do anything but watch the kids play in the pool, and have someone else fix the food and make the bed. You say life would be so boring, but I don't think it would be, I think I might like it, a lot.
I have a friend who in my mind has it all, her kids are in sports and piano, they never eat out unless on vacation, her kids are always doing what they are told they don't yell at there mother, they live at the library, she reads to them for hours a day, she could take someone a meal with an hours notice and wouldn't even think about it being a hardship, no her house is not clean not even a little the beds aren't made, the car is full of books, she's on the PTA and helps out at her kids school 3 hours a week, they go camping and hiking, they go to the park every other day, and yet if I called and needed something she would drop whatever she is doing and help, even if I haven't seen her for months in between, because she is just that way.
Is this how I want to be , we'll I do like to have a clean house and I do have to have my bed made everyday, but if you asked my kids they have the most boring lives ever, we never do anything and they are alway bored, because I never do anything with them.
As I sit here Cash is sitting at my feet screaming the boys are yelling about something there are toys everywhere, the car needs the tires rotated, it needs an oil change, it needs to be washed, Codey has no heater in his car, who knows the last time any of those things were done on his car, and yet here I am if I ignor it all will it go away? I wish. But it won't it never does, tomorrow will be another day and I might get something done. Today I will just look at it all and say oh well, life goes on.
I made brownies and everyone's Tummies will be happy even if they don't sa thanks I know they love me for making them. And I do, I love them all a lot.
So after all that, what can I say Codey is back to 40 hours a week we are going to a hotel for the weekend next week and I hope I will tell the kids every day how much I love them.
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